so eddie and i are on "vacation" this week.
sort of.
it is officially our last week of unemployment as the two of us are both starting new (permanent *hopefully*) jobs next monday.
a mixture of relief and sadness travels through me.
in all honesty i will be very grateful to be working a 9-5, though i will mourn the loss of the "unlimited free time" that being unemployed is. which isn't free time at all, since you spent at least 14 hours a day working on resumes, surfing job listings, crying over your bank account, and praying for the gods of job hunters to take some frickin pity on you already.
some people were jealous of my unemployment. like i was on one big vacation.
but trust me. not having a job because you can't get anyone to hire you is absolutely nothing like vacation.
but it is finally over!
today we went for a hike (and by hike i mean, long walk through naturey area, minnesota happens to be really flat) and then for dinner i made spinach mushroom calzones with the butt load of farm fresh spinach from my csa.
never made calzones before, so they came out with a little more crust probably than necessary (i was playing it safe) but we enjoyed it all the same.
sort of.
it is officially our last week of unemployment as the two of us are both starting new (permanent *hopefully*) jobs next monday.
a mixture of relief and sadness travels through me.
in all honesty i will be very grateful to be working a 9-5, though i will mourn the loss of the "unlimited free time" that being unemployed is. which isn't free time at all, since you spent at least 14 hours a day working on resumes, surfing job listings, crying over your bank account, and praying for the gods of job hunters to take some frickin pity on you already.
some people were jealous of my unemployment. like i was on one big vacation.
but trust me. not having a job because you can't get anyone to hire you is absolutely nothing like vacation.
but it is finally over!
today we went for a hike (and by hike i mean, long walk through naturey area, minnesota happens to be really flat) and then for dinner i made spinach mushroom calzones with the butt load of farm fresh spinach from my csa.
never made calzones before, so they came out with a little more crust probably than necessary (i was playing it safe) but we enjoyed it all the same.
so i made a yum yum egg, nettle, chive, garlic and parmesan cheese concoction for breakfast.
i've never eaten nettles, but when it arrives in your CSA box, it is your moral duty to at least prepare and try the food. especially when your farmers are kind enough to provide you with recipes!
it was supposed to be an omelet, but i hate making omelets, so i just threw it all together sort of scrambled egg style, i guess.
added some organic chicken apple sausage and we had a num num sunday morning breakfast with more than enough animal protein to keep the hard core carnivore who lives with me completely satiated.
nothing quite like eating your greens in such a tasty way!
i've never eaten nettles, but when it arrives in your CSA box, it is your moral duty to at least prepare and try the food. especially when your farmers are kind enough to provide you with recipes!
it was supposed to be an omelet, but i hate making omelets, so i just threw it all together sort of scrambled egg style, i guess.
added some organic chicken apple sausage and we had a num num sunday morning breakfast with more than enough animal protein to keep the hard core carnivore who lives with me completely satiated.
nothing quite like eating your greens in such a tasty way!
so just in case you have cinco de mayo party plans you should check out the recipes at eatingwell-
yum!
i'm especially liking the Strawberry-Margarita Compote for a dessert. (though i would probably sub agave nectar for the sugar for dipping.)
though i must admit i am a little disappointed that their only vegetarian main dish is all eggs, milk and cheese...not that i'm hard core vegan..it was just disappointing to see that was their only offering that wasn't a side dish and i just figured that since beans were such a staple, they could do better than that...
just have to keep searching i guess!
ooooo...check these out: Kale and Black Bean Tacos
from my other favorite place to search out recipes: Delicious Living Magazine
i'm supposed to get kale in my spring csa share today, yay!
yum!
i'm especially liking the Strawberry-Margarita Compote for a dessert. (though i would probably sub agave nectar for the sugar for dipping.)
though i must admit i am a little disappointed that their only vegetarian main dish is all eggs, milk and cheese...not that i'm hard core vegan..it was just disappointing to see that was their only offering that wasn't a side dish and i just figured that since beans were such a staple, they could do better than that...
just have to keep searching i guess!
ooooo...check these out: Kale and Black Bean Tacos
from my other favorite place to search out recipes: Delicious Living Magazine
i'm supposed to get kale in my spring csa share today, yay!
woot!
and it was a total cliff hanger...
despite my terrible wing-it philosophy of writing, this totally worked out in some strange way.
and one of my main characters became very evil...i should do that more often. it was fun.
so today is the last day of Script Frenzy! and I have 26 pages to write still.
oy.
i don't know why i must always procrastinate so badly.
it is a very bad personal habit. yet here i am, again, putting it off.
i'm gonna get 2 hours in before my appointment, and then i have 5 more hours to finish.
i'm a very fast writer (since i suck so much and have stopped caring if the end of the plot matches the beginning) so it should be over, no problem what so ever.
here's to hoping.
oy.
i don't know why i must always procrastinate so badly.
it is a very bad personal habit. yet here i am, again, putting it off.
i'm gonna get 2 hours in before my appointment, and then i have 5 more hours to finish.
i'm a very fast writer (since i suck so much and have stopped caring if the end of the plot matches the beginning) so it should be over, no problem what so ever.
here's to hoping.
so, april has been one weird month.
between scripting, a very strange new adventure, the two weekends in new york, and trying to get myself ready to start my new job, i have no idea what the heck is going on with my life.
i've alternated between detoxing and eating more white flour than EVER and have come to the realization that while i LOVE my school, i also have a hard time not HATING some things about it.
and those things generally have nothing to do with the education i'm receiving there. i have learned such an amazing amount of info.
but! it is hard to be a health at every size/love yourself no matter what you look like kinda girl in a health nut community.
and that is only for one tiny little reason....there are many many people who are "health nuts" who believe that your body size has some sort of reflection on how healthy you are.
and i've had to engage in several discussions with people who believe that the only important measure of health is body weight.
and heard them say terrible things about other people's bodies and appearance, pronouncing judgement on people who do not measure up to their expectations.
and their preoccupation with getting clients to lose more weight instead of trying to shift the focus to being healthy and loving who you are in the moment.
that eternal hunt for that future moment when everything will be perfect. your body, your weight, how ripped or muscular you look. when you will no longer struggle to turn your nose up at junk foods or things that are pronounced unhealthy.
the eternal hunt for anything but acceptance that now is your moment, and this is the one body you have, the one chance you've got to be happy.
this isn't to say that we shouldn't dream or hope for better things.
but it seems a very hard way to live, to constantly motivate yourself to change by telling yourself that you aren't good enough, healthy enough, skinny enough, fit enough...whatever your poison is.
listening to this breaks my heart a little every time, because i will never be better than who i am right now and neither will you. because right now is all we have. and while we can hope and dream and take steps towards those things that are important to us, lets make sure we don't put our energies all into everything we are not, let's put our energy into everything we are and appreciate ourselves for all the wonderful ways we experience the world.
k, i'm done with the random ranting for now.
i have one and a half days to finish this script. and as usual i hate my plot. maybe i will kill my main character. i was gonna give him a happy ending, but i don't know if i like him that much anymore.
back to work.
between scripting, a very strange new adventure, the two weekends in new york, and trying to get myself ready to start my new job, i have no idea what the heck is going on with my life.
i've alternated between detoxing and eating more white flour than EVER and have come to the realization that while i LOVE my school, i also have a hard time not HATING some things about it.
and those things generally have nothing to do with the education i'm receiving there. i have learned such an amazing amount of info.
but! it is hard to be a health at every size/love yourself no matter what you look like kinda girl in a health nut community.
and that is only for one tiny little reason....there are many many people who are "health nuts" who believe that your body size has some sort of reflection on how healthy you are.
and i've had to engage in several discussions with people who believe that the only important measure of health is body weight.
and heard them say terrible things about other people's bodies and appearance, pronouncing judgement on people who do not measure up to their expectations.
and their preoccupation with getting clients to lose more weight instead of trying to shift the focus to being healthy and loving who you are in the moment.
that eternal hunt for that future moment when everything will be perfect. your body, your weight, how ripped or muscular you look. when you will no longer struggle to turn your nose up at junk foods or things that are pronounced unhealthy.
the eternal hunt for anything but acceptance that now is your moment, and this is the one body you have, the one chance you've got to be happy.
this isn't to say that we shouldn't dream or hope for better things.
but it seems a very hard way to live, to constantly motivate yourself to change by telling yourself that you aren't good enough, healthy enough, skinny enough, fit enough...whatever your poison is.
listening to this breaks my heart a little every time, because i will never be better than who i am right now and neither will you. because right now is all we have. and while we can hope and dream and take steps towards those things that are important to us, lets make sure we don't put our energies all into everything we are not, let's put our energy into everything we are and appreciate ourselves for all the wonderful ways we experience the world.
k, i'm done with the random ranting for now.
i have one and a half days to finish this script. and as usual i hate my plot. maybe i will kill my main character. i was gonna give him a happy ending, but i don't know if i like him that much anymore.
back to work.
i love nothing more than coming up with eight million new great scene ideas during my running sessions.
and then sitting down to write them and realizing that they make NO SENSE in my current script.
yikes.
so i'm sitting here, trying to finish my script for script frenzy at a 24 hr. write-in. only three hours in and i want to break my f-ing computer.
going home and sleeping the rest of the day sounds like a frickin fabulous idea!
except for that whole, no excuses, i have to write 100 pages thing.
only 37 in.
and my story already makes no sense.
time for new characters!!!
and then sitting down to write them and realizing that they make NO SENSE in my current script.
yikes.
so i'm sitting here, trying to finish my script for script frenzy at a 24 hr. write-in. only three hours in and i want to break my f-ing computer.
going home and sleeping the rest of the day sounds like a frickin fabulous idea!
except for that whole, no excuses, i have to write 100 pages thing.
only 37 in.
and my story already makes no sense.
time for new characters!!!
so today i went running.
i've been hit or miss with the exercise since we moved here to MN. i keep playing around at new routines but nothing sticks longer than a week or so.
so my goal is to explore every single tiny little park around the house to see if i can't find something easy and brainless for days when it is just "too much work" to go outside.
today, with the threat of rain, chilly wind and looming dark clouds i dragged my butt down the road to a neighboring park. i had driven by this park a hundred times but couldn't decide if the sidewalk led off into a running trail or if it was just a sidewalk that ran by a "pond" as eddie likes to call all the lakes in the city.
i found myself a happy little running gem! much closer and not nearly as crowded as the one up by the bigger lakes.
it has a large biking trail that loops farther out than the running/walking path that runs through the trees and ran up next to this small lake that has ducks and geese and cattails and all kinds of birds. it really feels like you are out in the middle of nowhere while you are off down by the lake. it was awesome! it also runs up to a huge playground and mini-golf course (which will make eddie happy).
i was quite pleased with myself for finding something closer than the other running spot.
the loop is a little over a mile long, so it will be good for shorter runs and easy to adjust the mileage depending on my needs. i like loops. i can always go someplace else for weekly long runs.
but i always forget how stupid tired i am after runs when i haven't been running regularly.
my brain always gets tired before my body feels it.
i really want a nap right now.
i've been hit or miss with the exercise since we moved here to MN. i keep playing around at new routines but nothing sticks longer than a week or so.
so my goal is to explore every single tiny little park around the house to see if i can't find something easy and brainless for days when it is just "too much work" to go outside.
today, with the threat of rain, chilly wind and looming dark clouds i dragged my butt down the road to a neighboring park. i had driven by this park a hundred times but couldn't decide if the sidewalk led off into a running trail or if it was just a sidewalk that ran by a "pond" as eddie likes to call all the lakes in the city.
i found myself a happy little running gem! much closer and not nearly as crowded as the one up by the bigger lakes.
it has a large biking trail that loops farther out than the running/walking path that runs through the trees and ran up next to this small lake that has ducks and geese and cattails and all kinds of birds. it really feels like you are out in the middle of nowhere while you are off down by the lake. it was awesome! it also runs up to a huge playground and mini-golf course (which will make eddie happy).
i was quite pleased with myself for finding something closer than the other running spot.
the loop is a little over a mile long, so it will be good for shorter runs and easy to adjust the mileage depending on my needs. i like loops. i can always go someplace else for weekly long runs.
but i always forget how stupid tired i am after runs when i haven't been running regularly.
my brain always gets tired before my body feels it.
i really want a nap right now.
