marvelous mediocrity

i haven't heard anything back from grad school yet.

so i, of course, am FREAKING OUT.

but that is completely normal.

this month has flown by. not much has happened. though eddie and i are busy recruiting for our team for:

Ragnar Great River Relay

you totally know you want to.

really really really want to.

we started 'training' last week. which involves us going outside and running for very short periods of time while loudly exclaiming how this is going to kill us, that we are insanely out of shape, and OMG I'M DYING! RIGHT NOW!!

this is going to be so much fun!

scriptfrenzy is coming up this month. and i'm itching to write something new this year. i found script writing fast and easy compared to novels (remember i'm not writing anything GOOD) but last year at this time i was unemployed, and sitting in caribou coffee for entire days was a welcome change of pace from sitting in the dungeon cave.

which currently still has a christmas tree living in it. yikes!

yes, i am that far behind in Real Life.

the hormones the doctor put me on have given me an eventful two months. complete with a week of hives and the most insane mood swings of my adult life. holy cow. i was worried i had actually become bi-polar. now that i'm on the 'stable' portion of the month, i feel more sane, and less in need of a padded room.

i'm so positive!! the silver lining in every cloud, that is what i see.

anyway, i think there are some small improvements in my pcos symptoms, though my body works really hard to prove me wrong every time i think things are getting better. thus, the really large and painful pimple that has been brewing on my right cheek for the last week. it is one of those super deep ones that you can hardly see, but hurts like hell.

frickin acne.

the new exercise routine should help with my symptoms, too.

normal eating is still the journey i am on regarding food (and exercise, and body/life acceptance, /sigh). i have good days, i have bad days, but as in all things, i'm still making slow progress.

i've been cooking A LOT (mostly to save money, but also because i'm a good cook and it is fun). and i would blog about it. but you all might have a heart attack just from viewing the amount of butter we've been eating lately.

but the last month has seen a downgrade in cheese consumption. babysteps, right?

and an increase in veggie consumption as well! but i'm going to have to learn the best place to buy fresh veggies without bankrupting us. the co-ops here are just. too. expensive. and farmer's markets aren't open yet.

didn't do a CSA this year.

*insert hysterical weeping*

it just wasn't in our budget. and we are living without credit cards for the foreseeable future. being financially responsible and all. the interest rate on charging a summer of farm veggies would probably bankrupt us anyway.

did i mention i hate credit card companies? and BoA. they are the agents of the devIL, me thinks. sorting out our accounts with them when they decided to fuck over perfectly good long standing credit card clients was hell on earth (still is a little). but we are in the moving forward place now, which is much better than the holy fuck we are stuck place of before.

and, i totally love it!, fafsa told me i should be able to afford $14000 of my schooling next year based on our COMBINED income of $40,000 last year. that means, with two people working full time last year, we each made about $20,000 (doing our taxes was a real eye opener, no wonder we are so broke!). so if i STOP working to go to school full-time, i should STILL be able to pay $14,000 towards my degree?

this makes me grateful for the GI Bill. however, not surprisingly, the GI Bill isn't enough to cover in state tuition. much less tuition, fees and books.

ugh.

i am disgusted with our educational system. for realz.

so anyway, $40,000 total is almost liveable (though total shit for a two person working household) but this was a serious downgrade for the Eddie/Emily show. Since I, alone, used to make more than we make combined now. we didn't change our "lifestyle" to adjust for this fast enough. thus our current financial situation. sometimes, being optimistic turns into total shit when it confronts the real world.

so, for all you people out there who will feel really special about me fucking over my life by leaving the military: get your i told you so's out of the way now.

we may have destroyed our financial lives at the worst possible time in recent history, but i'm still glad i'm not living in delusional diet world.

this post, officially, makes no fucking sense.

so i will end it with one of my all time favorite pick me ups:

The Fuck It Diet

Labels: bleak and depressing, cooking, csa, miscellaneous doodads, money, training, whining, writing